It’s Too Late to Apologize

Someone close to me apologized for something and then when I didn’t forgive him, he questioned me as to why. The reason is because I do not think that he is truly sorry for what he did. I came to this conclusion as a direct result of how he apologized.
I am a firm believer in forgiveness. When you forgive someone, you are not telling them that what they did was right or letting them “off-the-hook” but rather a choice that you must make to let go of any resentment or anger you hold toward that person. When you forgive someone you are making four promises to them. You promise you will not dwell on what he did wrong. You promise you will not bring up this situation and use it against him. You promise you will not talk to others about what he did. You promise you will be friends with him again.

I’d prefer not to go in the details of my personal situation so I make up a similar story instead. Say he had punched me. He made a conscience choice to do something he knew would hurt me. When he apologized he said, “I am sorry you are hurt.” I don’t understand how this is an apology. He is not taking any responsibility for his actions. A better apology in this situation would be, “I am sorry I punched you and you got hurt.” Stated this way I can respond by saying, “I forgive you for punching me.” How am I supposed to forgive with the previous apology, he isn’t apologizing for anything he did merely empathizing with me. I can’t forgive empathy. It may in fact be true that he is sorry that I am hurt, but how I’m a supposed to know if he is sorry that he is the one who hurt me?

When you are apologizing you need to admit what you did was wrong, apologize for how your choice affected the other person, accept the consequences for your wrongdoing without argument or excuses, ask for forgiveness, and alter your choices in the future.

I have since forgiven this person and the whole situation has been resolved.

Change, Can You Believe It?

Guest Post by a Young Conservative

This country is changing. It is becoming something that I, personally, didn’t vote for. In fact, I don’t believe that a majority of those who voted for President Obama wished to see their country “change” this much. It angers me to see how the media fawns over President Obama, so much so that ABC devoted 48 straight hours of programming to broadcast his plan for health care. Forty-eight hours straight without a single dissenting opinion. That is clearly not America. As a Conservative, I believe in the power of the American citizen that is granted to the government in order to run the country, not given in order to rule and change it. President Obama was voted into office as a steward to oversee and uphold the Constitution according to its laws, not as a king to make changes as he sees fit.

Many people are confused by what or whom a Conservative is. Our beliefs are not widely known. I will draw upon the words of another Conservative, one that is much more prominent (and controversial) than I. In his “First National Address” at CPAC 2009, Mr. Rush Limbaugh defined who we are as Conservatives.

“Let me tell you who we Conservatives are: We love people. When we look out over the United States of America, when we are anywhere, when we see a group of people…we see Americans. We see human beings. We don't see groups. We don't see victims. We don't see people we want to exploit. What we see is potential. We do not look out across the country and see the average American, the person that makes this country work. We do not see that person with contempt. We don't think that person doesn't have what it takes. We believe that person can be the best he or she wants to be if certain things are just removed from their path like onerous taxes, regulations and too much government. We want every American to be the best he or she chooses to be. We recognize that we are all individuals. We love and revere our founding documents, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. We Conservatives think all three are under assault.”

In a conversation I had with a good friend who is extremely liberal, she expressed her desire for America to be more like Europe. She was blinded by Europe’s “social care” for all members of society. She pined over how universal heath care is the solution to the “crisis” in the United States. I was shocked. While I firmly believe that she is entitled to her opinion, I couldn’t fathom the fact that she wanted America to change. What would our motivation to change be? Europe sends their best and their brightest to the United States to be educated. Europe sends their sick and injured to the United States to be healed. Europe collects 60% of an individual’s wealth and distributes it to those who makes less than they do. Why would we want to be like Europe when Europe clearly wishes they could be more like us?

Coincidentally, on Rush Limbaugh’s weekly radio program, he provided an astute review of why America is different from Europe and other societies as well as the reason we shouldn’t change. From his program aired Friday July 24, 2009:

“Go throughout history, look at the world today, and count up the nations that are truly free. We aren't as free as we used to be, but all over the world, totalitarian regimes rule. In China, in South America, Latin America and even in the industrialized western socialist democracies you still have socialism. You still have people who have sacrificed their own freedom and liberty for what they think is a little security when they actually have none without us defending them. The history of human beings on this planet is murder, tyranny, dictatorship, dungeons, and prisons. That's not the history of this country, but there have been people throughout this nation's existence who have wanted to turn this country into a typical country in the world. Just because they're born here, and just because they're Americans, doesn't mean that they're any different from tyrants and dictators who have lived and ruled in other countries because that mind-set is as universal in human beings, regardless of nation boundaries, as it is for other people that demand and want freedom.”

America was created as a land for the people that demand freedom. So much so that it was embedded into our founding documents. These documents clearly outline exactly what each part of government is in charge of. It instructs how the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches should balance each other out. It clearly separates the power that the Federal government has and defers all other power to the states. Much of this new legislation bends and breaks the ideals and rules that this country was built upon. Soon we may be told what doctor we can see and how we can be treated. Soon we could be told what car we can drive and what color it can be. This treads on the very Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness that granted to every American citizen! This country is changing, and I don’t like it.

Adulthood

I turned 20 years old a few months ago. I am no longer a "teenager" but at the same time I don't feel as though I am an adult. When do you become an adult?
Is it when you reach a certian age, like 16, 18, or 20?
Is it when you get a job and can support yourself financially?
Is it when you move out of your parents' house and begin living on your own?
Is it when you get married or have your own family?

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that I am not 14 years old anymore. I am an adult even though I may not feel like I am.

To me being an adult means more then not being a child anymore, I just can't figure out what exactly it is that it means.

The Power of a Moment

Everyday there are decisions to be made. Most are small and can be made in a matter of moments. But a few are big and require more thought. Don't spend days agonizing over the affect if will have on the rest of your life. Just take a risk and grab an opportunity while you have the chance. More likely then not, the future will work itself out.

Once a moment passes, there is no going back. You can't change you mind after the fact. A moment is a very powerful thing.

Second Chances Don’t Come Easy

Have you ever been given a second chance at something? After doing something wrong, you were given the opportunity to try again. Did you do the right thing this time? Why not? Did you think you will be given a third go around? You were lucky to get one.
Does it go both ways? Do you give the people in your life second chances? One of the best gifts you can give to someone is a second opportunity and it’s absolutely free.

Dream a Little Dream

What do dreams mean?
I’ve had some really weird dreams. Dreams in which I am pregnant (which is impossible because I don’t have a “special someone” in my life), dreams where I am smoking cigarettes (something I find repulsive), and dreams where I am in strange situations with the people in my life. What do these dreams mean?
Are dreams predictions of the future?
Do dreams show us what our subconscious is trying to tell us?
Or do we dream to exercise the synapses between brain cells?

Can dreams teach us things about ourselves that we are unaware of?

Rewind

“The only way to judge your growth as a human being is by making sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over.” ~Dr. Cox, [Scrubs]

Everybody makes mistakes. As a human being it is a basic requirement to make mistakes. It is virtually impossible to be perfect and be human.
There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Often what may seem like a mistake at the time will turn into something positive in the future.

Don’t be afraid to make a mistake unless it is the same one twice.

However, there may be one mistake in your life that you wish you could take back. Words your wish hadn’t pashed your lips. Actions you wish you hadn’t done. What is the one thing you wish you could retract? If you could go back in time, what would you redo?

Living in the Future

“We are so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” ~Calvin & Hobbes

People spend a lot of time planning out their future. They think about what they are going to do, what job they are going to have, where they are going to live, what car they are going to drive, whether or not they are going to get married and have a family, and how to save money for retirement.
I’m not saying that planning ahead and being prepared is a bad thing because it not. But there comes a point when you need to stop planning your life and start living it.
How much of the present are we wasting by thinking about the future?

If I Were King of the Forest

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens you. It’s a choice and it requires action.
Courage is disregarding logic. It’s ignoring the questions “Are you sure?” and “Isn’t this crazy?” Courage is throwing concerns such as “The timing isn’t right,” You don’t have adequate experience,” and “You aren’t educated enough” to the way side.
Courage is not letting anything hold you back from making your wildest dreams come true.
Courage is doing something that’s never been done before.
Courage means having no fear of failure.

What is that you’ve always wanted to do? What is stopping you?